I had a great time with a friend yesterday and went to bed very late. Although I remembered the daily update commitment in my heart, I still skipped it. No one was urging me, but I will urge myself.
Taking this opportunity, I want to expand on the previous [[A057 Pain is the Source of Creation]] from a different perspective.
In A057, I mentioned that I started daily updates because of dissatisfaction with life, trying to use it to ease myself. But yesterday, I was very happy in life and didn’t need any relief, so I took a day off from updating.
But why do I still urge myself? To some extent, isn’t this a kind of “forgetting the original intention”—the daily updates were meant to relieve boredom?
I found that if I dig deeper, I can’t let myself be idle: even if I leave aside all work and study, I still can’t allow myself to be idle. This manifests as writing on my public account. I can’t let myself have a completely free and unrestrained day that appears meaningless; I must find some meaning in each day, or else I cannot forgive myself.
Brothers, this is scary—why would someone not allow themselves to have a day without any burdens? Why must there be some meaning every day?
If there is such a person living like me, I would definitely think he is very tired, but that person is exactly myself. I just didn’t realize this until I talked with a friend yesterday 