A057 Pain Is the Source of Creation

[doggie]

I recently went home for a few days—leaving behind all goals, along with all unhappiness, and also pausing my daily updates. Today, I’m back in Beijing, and everything has returned—indeed, it began returning as early as last night: exhaustion, confusion, dissatisfaction, and self-pity.

So, I’ve started creating again—if this can even be called “creation.”

From A001 up to now, I’ve often wondered: does anyone really read these mundane, diary-style entries? I’ve shared them multiple times—and just as often deleted them, thinking such boring content shouldn’t waste people’s limited attention. Yet strangely, some are reading—and even admire my consistency in writing.

I’m not sure what readers are looking for. Perhaps they find strength in watching someone else strive to live meaningfully (just as people draw inspiration from Feng Ge’s bold foray into China’s A-share market). Or perhaps I genuinely manage to write something thought-provoking. Or maybe it’s simply support for Bai Shui.

I’m not even sure what I’m writing—maybe I’m trying to externalize my pent-up frustration; maybe I’m using regular updates to reassure my family I’m okay; maybe I’m hoping for attention—or genuine connection.

In short, pain is the source of creation: only in pain can I bring myself to write—and only in pain must I write.